Taking Up Space

Trusted Loving Adult:  You should do a blog for moose and frankie.

Me:  I’d love that!  I love to write!  I have a lot to say about a lot of things.

Trusted Loving Adult:  And then send it out to everyone on your mailing list.

Me:  um, no.  Absolutely never.

(Co-Star notification pops up on my phone:  “It’s okay to want things for yourself”)

Me again: um, still no.  Nice try, Universe.

What IS this madness?  Why do we hide ourselves?  Why do I need to always be talked out of being silent, invisible, and self sustaining….STILL?  I know better.  We all do.  And yet, here we are.  Ugh.

This last week I was making soap.  I was making MY soap…..the soap designs that are inspired and dear to me, the ones that people refer to as actual art, the ones that people spend legit United States currency on to have in their homes.  And you know what I was thinking to myself?  I thought:  “Maybe I should make a swirly soap”.  You know who makes swirly soap?  EVERYONE BUT ME.  Why would I, on a typical Wednesday in February, after being somewhat successful at doing what I do for years, think that I should just step out of the picture entirely and blend into the swirly soap scene that I have absolutely no part of?  The swirls are beautiful….yeah….but they are not what I bring to the table.  Why am I still so afraid to be seen taking up space with something that is unique to me?  

I suppose the easy answer is that it is a fear of rejection.  But who among us has not been rejected at least 936 times already in our lives?  And look who is still going…..all of us!  It’s gotta be more than that.

Here is the thing….I am not actually sure what it is.  But what I DO know is that, if it were you asking me if you should make the equivalent of swirl soap, I’d say to you, “absolutely the eff not”.  Period.

I deeply believe that we do all have something or things unique to us that legit makes the universe smile and cheer us on.  It could be a creative endeavor, the way we listen, the way we teach, our toothy and very loud laugh, how we spot birds in the trees, how we hug, or how we bring tea to our friends.  It can be SWIRLY SOAP!  What it always is, is meaningful, personal to us, and authentic.  It makes our little hearts light up when it’s engaged.  It’s REAL.  

Why in god’s name would we not let THAT take up allllll the space it wants and needs?  

So my challenge to you, dear reader, is to please take up space with your real self.  Take up loving, unproductive, and inspired space.  If you can’t do it for yourself, then do it for me.  I need to see you doing it so that I can feel safer doing it for myself, too.  And then maybe I’ll send this out to (dear goddess, no) everyone on my mailing list.  Hard yikes, loves.  Very hard yikes.

Below is a soap I made recently, inspired by the ocean and hills where I grew up.  It even has a little bit of patchouli in there, to really seal the deal.  It’ll be available to purchase soon.  I love it.