Self care is a scam

Self care is a scam.

Self care is the equivalent of a crappy boyfriend who always says they are sorry but never changes their behavior.  Every.  Single.  Time.

Stay with me.  

Wouldn’t you rather have a partner who listens and learns and pivots to a place where you feel cared for every day, in real time?  What if, instead of a constant supply of apologies, there was a constant supply of support?  CARE, if you will.  Now make yourself that personfriend and stop apologizing to yourself with bubble baths and be friggin good to yourself all day long every damn day….period.  

Do THAT because real self care isn’t an apology after the fact, it’s a way to be with yourself, in real time.

How do we do that?  Well, old self care would say to “take a day off to rest after a particularly overextended week”.  New self care says “dude. don’t overextend yourself”.  Old self care would say to treat yourself to an escape when needed.  New self care would suggest creating a life that you don’t feel the need to escape from.  See the difference?  

It’s not easy to do.  Hell, it’s hard to even see it in the first place.  We’ve all been conditioned to go until we collapse, drink wine, drop a couple of eff bombs in the right places, and spend our way back to life.  But it’s not working, is it?  It’s got its fun parts, but is it CARE?  

I have to tell you this thing that has been happening to me lately.  When women ask me to do something…volunteer, meet, etc…..and I say “no” for whatever reason....you know what they say in response?  They say THANK YOU.  Because women have been overextending themselves since the dawn of time and when one of us says “no”, it gives the rest of us permission to do the same.  So great.

So what in goddesses’ names does this have to do with good old moose and frankie?  I’m gonna tell you right now.  

Using an “anti-aging” product is NOT, under any circumstances, real self care.  Spending money on, and then putting on your body, something that tells you that you are not enough if you look like you have spent time living and growing and learning on this planet is just not how one cares for one’s self, is it?  

You are not to be fixed, loves.  You are already the friggin best.  You are to be cared for, supported, and nourished, inside and out.  That’s the whole jam, right there.  That is what i am doing here.  Trying to do my part, at least.

So what are we calling this new self care?  And can we get matching jackets about it?  Stickers, maybe?